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How To Pick Up Girls at Gym? The Tips All Guys Want To Know But Afraid To Ask.

January 10th, 2009 · 42 Comments ·
 
 

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Nowadays, gym is no longer a cold dark place where the bodybuilders pumping irons. Some have treated it as another place to socialize. So, here is post to focus in one popular topic – How To Pick Up Girls at Gym?

First thing first, before you talk to a girl at gym, you must assess the situation. Analyzing and plan are crucial. By doing so, you know how to introduce and sell yourself before you execute your mission plan to date her.

 

Here are 5 things to look for and access before you approach your potential target:

  1. Check if she has a ring on her wedding finger. If she has, sorry, next one. If you still want to go for a married woman, by all mean, go ahead, but make sure you have what it takes.
  2. Do you have eye contact with her occasionally? If she is wearing earphones listening to songs, she does not want to be bothered. If her eyes focus on the floor, the mirror or whatever except you, the message is clear – nope, she is not interested in you. If she looks at you for once, the chance is 50-50. But, if she looks at you more than once, wait no more.
  3. What kind of personality does she show when she is talking to others, especially with other man at the gym? Is she shy, talkative, flirtatious, or confident?
  4. Notice what reading material she reads. If she is reading a novel by Stephen King or a Wall Street Journal?
  5. Is she a beginner, average or an intermediate member?

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Before you approach any girl, make sure you have the 5 Don’t:

  1. Don’t stare like a wolf. If you stare, you will make her feel uncomfortable and annoyed. I know, sometimes, you stare so long just to make a woman eventually stare back. Rule of thumb, if she want to look at you, she will.
  2. Don’t forget your towel. Before you talk to her, remember to wipe your sweat with your towel. No women like sweat from stranger. For them, sweat is gross and smelly. You don’t have to show how hard you have trained with your sweat.
  3. Don’t interrupt during a set. Don’t talk to her when she is working out. Ruining her workout will make her irritated. Wait for her to rest between sets before you approach her.

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  4. Don’t grunt. Some guys like to grunt or moan when lifting heavy weight. Don’t do this trying to get her attention. Doing this will just get you a weird look, rather than an admiration look from her. Don’t spread your both arms wide unnecessarily showing how “huge” or muscular you are.  Don’t try to impress her with the so called Imaginary Lat Syndrome.
  5. Don’t give advice unless it is needed. Women appreciates advice, but only when it comes in a right time. If you do it in the flirtatious manner, it can be uncomfortable. If you give her an impression that you are an expert, she definitely will not mind to listen.

So after learning the 5 cues and 5 Don’t, let me share a case study with you on how this can be done.

Case Study
A babe is struggling to use a machine. She probably looks at the instruction stuck there trying to figure out how to adjust the seat. Now, you can walk up and offer your gentleman’s help. Remember to smile but make sure you have brushed your teeth that morning. Kneel down and say, “This seat always stuck all the time. Let me try to help you.”

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She will probably look at you now. After adjusting the seat and show her how to work out using that machine. No worry, even if you yourself also don’t know how to use that machine, just show her. Who cares at that critical point of time? She probably doesn’t have a clue how the heck the machine works.

Now, if everything goes fine, spend half an hour with her. Ask her questions and listen. A man who listens is always a better choice. After shower, you can offer to buy her a drink or meal.

Disclaimer: I personally have not tried the above methods. Again, use them at your own risk. Need more tips, check out some of the “unusual” pick up lines you may want to use at gym – Top 10 Pick Up Lines For Girls or Guys At Gym.

Have fun and all the best.

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42 responses so far ↓
  • hyperX // Jan 10, 2009 at 1:19 PM

    About checking the ring, most of the time, there are different meaning for wearing ring at different finger, so just beware for girls that wearing a wedding ring.

  • Tom Parker // Jan 10, 2009 at 9:31 PM

    Gotta agree with you on not interrupting girls mid-set. This would really annoy me if the tables were turned and I was interrupted mid-set.

  • dpegasus // Jan 12, 2009 at 11:36 AM

    How about a girls on guys list? not fair you only do it for the guys … :p

  • Jessie // Jan 13, 2009 at 1:27 AM

    If her eyes focus on the floor, the mirror or whatever except you, the message is clear – nope, she is not interested in you.. <– I find this so true and so hilarious! Good post!

  • Adrian C // Jan 15, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    I think the best time to talk to a girl is when they are outside the gym (meaning as they are about to make their way there or back to their cars) or if they are waiting at the lounge area. Besides, that – I think any conversation in the gym area would be a disruption. Nowadays, the girls have iPods … how to talk to someone wearing earphones?!

  • asithi // Jan 20, 2009 at 11:46 AM

    I second the eye contact part. If they are looking at anything but you, then they are not interested. And please don’t stare, that gives us this weird creepy feeling that sometimes can ruin part of our workout.

    As for the earphones, maybe they don’t want conversation. That is the reason why they are wearing earphones.

  • Anders // May 4, 2009 at 7:43 PM

    What a great article, I love the science of picking up girls, and those at the gym are usually prettier than those in the pub. One tip, never break eye contact once you have it. If it lasts for more than 3 seconds, go up to her and say “Hi”.

  • znamikeanz // Jul 31, 2009 at 12:42 PM

    well lets say, you both keep looking at each other but not directly at each other every now and then. And when you try not to stare, they continue looking at you every now and then. and she’s also wearing head phone. but it seems as if a lot of the times where ever I workout, she works out and vice versa. And we go to the gym usually around the same time.
    my question would be, how do I know if she’s interested or has a boyfriend? She does not wear a ring. I’ve seen her plenty of times at the gym, but I just dont know how to introduce myself. She knows how to workout. So she’s not one of those girls that doesnt know how. So what’s the best way to introduce myself??
    any suggestion would be greatly appreciated!!!
    thanks!

  • Shadowland // Oct 7, 2009 at 6:48 PM

    znamikeanz…. I’m in the exact same boat as you…
    It’s hard to know if they’re looking at you, because you can’t just stare at them…. She’s always got her earphones in too….. I’m probably going to try and approach my gym girl as she’s walking to her car (seen as though no one ever hangs out at the sofa area at my gym).

    This is annoying though, and quite frankly makes me look like a weirdo if I’m just stood around waiting outside for her to come out.

    Not to mention, if it all goes horribly wrong… I’m going to have to change the times I go to the gym.

    Did you ever approach your gym girl znamikeanz? If so, how did you do it? And what did you say?

    Please advise,

    Kind Regards,

    Michael

  • Gerard // Jan 5, 2010 at 7:26 AM

    I Am in the same situation as Shadowland and znamikeanz. I have admired this gir for a long period of time (say more than 9 months already).

    That is why Am quite sure she notices me already with those little 5 second stares that accumulated for that period of time. She has made eye contact with me a lot of times and I just put my head down. I have also had the priviledge of opening the aero room door for her 3 times already and once for her vice-versa. Words like “Thank you” & “Your Welcome have been said already and I cannot get myself to speak or create a conversation.

    One other observation I see is that she fixes her looks sometimes (like putting down her hair). I do not know if this is for me or some better looking dude. I also know that she is smart because she went to Stanford, on top of that she represented the said school as an athlete. Other things like earphones and know what to do girl in the gym is in effect too.

    I worry whenever she does not show up because some negative situation might have happened to her, therefore having the what if’s in my head for the rest of my life. Am a regular joe & not at all attractive. I also take rejection in a mild manner, but this one is very special.

    One last footnote I want to share is that we are of different race. She is Caucassian and Am Filipino (Asian). This MAY play a part too but Am not sure. What do I do? Please provide me with straight & honest answers. It’s okay. Just don’t comment un-neccessary words such as curses.

    God Bless all of you ……….

  • Chris // Apr 21, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    I just say go all out and just strike up a conversation about anything or If you on the cardio machine ,comment about the news on TV, Sports teams or TV shows…Than that should lead to introductions and what do you do for a living…do you have a boyfriend/Husband..Even if your not doing Cardio everyone looks up and stares at the TV!

  • Ben // Apr 27, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    Hey guys,
    I need some advice too. PLEASE don’t tell me to go and talk to her. This happens to me pretty often, in school, in bars, in clubs. But the last girl is so !@#$% cute that I can’t just ignore it like the others. You guys know what I am talking about, right ? So I have been going to this gym for around 2 years now. And for the past month I see this girl looking at me every time I turn around. The problem is I don’t know how to START the conversation. Should I just go to her and introduce myself ?

  • sultryvixen // May 31, 2010 at 12:02 PM

    Gosh, you men……don’t you know we love when you talk to us…..I am a die hard workout nut, and wouldn’t mind it at all if men came up to talk to me….

    I get lots of looks, but no one ever says “Hi”….which is too bad…..and no…it doesn’t make a difference if you’re married or not…lol

  • huh? // Aug 26, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    just be honest…..go up to her and say you’ve seen her around the gym and thought she was attractive and wanted to introduce yourself. Exchange names and find out about her….what she does for a living, if she lives on the area, where shes originally from, hobbies etc. if she seems interested then ask her out to coffee….if shes attached she’ll let u know

    its not hard to talk to girls….its just fear of rejection/what others think

  • akhtar // Nov 23, 2010 at 4:35 PM

    my astomac big size what can i do

  • Melissa // Apr 15, 2011 at 9:30 AM

    I’m in the same boat as all you guys, and I’m a chick! I see this guy at the gym maybe once or twice a week. We’ve made eye contact on a few occasions and his body language is good, usually faced to me if we’re in the same area. However I don’t know how to strike up a conversation with someone I don’t know from a hole in the wall! This guy is sloop cute, I want him lol. I do wear headphones often at the gym, I have looked down or away on a few occasions because I don’t want to stare like a psycho, so maybe I’m not giving off enough of a flirty vibe?! Guys, talk to your gym crushes! Just go up to her a tell her she’s really pretty, say anything! He’ll I’d be floored if this guy said anything to me at all!!! Just do it :)

  • DaveB23 // Jul 17, 2011 at 1:47 PM

    Melissa, you’re telling guys to just go up and say something like ‘You’re pretty’, but you don’t understand how tough it is for a guy to just go up to an attractive girl in the gym like that. Most of the other guys in the gym will notice her too and I’m sure she gets stares from people she considers creepy all the time. That makes it hard to make and keep eye contact for extended amounts of times as well, because you’re conscious of being considered a creep, in which case its game over.
    You ask if you yourself are not giving off enough of a flirty vibe, and I think that would help in your situation. I’m in the exact same situations as znamikeanz and Shadowland, and it has been a while now. When reading their posts its as if I was reading a recap of my own situation haha. I feel like we look at each other every now and again, but I always worry about not staring too long, and I feel like a creep if I look her way too often and I’m not seeing her looking back. Like znamikeanz said, you try not to stare but you feel sometimes like they might have continued looking at you every now and again. If she did actually like me and gave me some sort of little signal beyond the normal- an extended smile, an obvious long look with a little smile, ANYTHING like that, it would make it so much easier on me because at that point I know that she gave me some sort of positive vibe and I don’t have to worry about being considered a creep at that point (Whereas if we don’t get a positive vibe and we go up there and ends up shes not interested, as Shadowland said, “not to mention if all goes horribly wrong I’ll have to change the times I go to the gym” haha I got a good laugh out of that one).

    So Melissa, if you really like this guy I suggest you give off more of a flirty attitude or at least some sort of positive vibe, because you are a lot less likely to be considered a creep as a girl approaching a guy than a guy is approaching a girl. I can’t imagine any guy who would mind a girl giving him some sort of positive vibe/signal (unless she is obviously quite unattractive haha), but even if shes not the most attractive girl in the gym im sure most guys would still be friendly and not mind talking to her at all. At least I would be friendly, even if it wasn’t the girl I was interested in.

    And PLEASE, get more girls who go to the gym realize this and help guys out a bit!

  • DaveB23 // Jul 17, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    sultryvixen that goes for you too, saying ‘you women love it when men talk to you’ and that you get lots of looks but never any ‘hi’s’. While the above post is why, its not as easy as you make it sound.

  • Melissa // Jul 20, 2011 at 2:44 AM

    DaveB23, thanks for responding! I’m crushing hard on a new guy who’s been staring at me intensely for like 2 months now! he’s very obvious about it, always makes eye contact with me and holds it for a few seconds until we pas eachother, or what have you. His stares are INTENSE, so I assume he’s interested?! However he hasn’t approached me. I reciprocate his stares all the time, I always make eye contact back so he gets the message that i notice him…but still, he hasn’t approached. I appreciate reading your note b/c it gives me better perspective on what goes on in your minds when you hesitate to approach us girls. I get it, there’s lots of fear there…not wanting to come off creepy, like a weirdo etc. All I can tell you guys is, unless you staring at someone like a hardcore stalker I can’t see her seeing you as creepy…if anything, if a guy approached me at the gym…I’d be friendly, I mean if you were to walk up to me and say “hey, I’ve noticed you here a lot…thought I’d introduce myself…I’m X (your name)…when did you join this gym?” …or something along those lines, I would take it as friendly conversation, an opener, and not see it at all as creepy! I know rejection is a scary thing (I can’t even walk up to the guy I’m attracted to, its scary!) however if you never approach, she’s going to assume you can’t be THAT interested, or you’d say something…that’s what I’m beginning to think, he stares so intensely and seems interested/attracted but if he never approaches, is he really THAT interested?! sometimes you just gotta take risks, and as a girl crushing had on a gym guy…I’d LOVE it if a guy approached me :) rejection sucks but its almost better to know then not know…

  • Melissa // Jul 23, 2011 at 1:18 AM

    Hi fellas,

    So I wrote a few days ago, and my opinion on this has done a 180. Sorry to tell you, but if a guy stares and glances and looks forever but makes NO move over a significant amount of time, its game over. This past week, not a whole lot happened with my gym guy…I even stuck around later hoping he’d approach, positioned myself where there weren’t too many people (no audience), no ear phones on, I was alone..etc. This guy stares at me ALL THE TIME, intensely. This week wasn’t such a great week, there wasn’t much opportunity and where there was, he didn’t act on it. So I’m over it! Its been over 2 months I believe of him just staring at me intensely. This week wasn’t quite as intense, not sure if that’s b/c there wasn’t much opportunity or if he’s over it as well?! However, I don’t get how someone stares THAT much, and THAT intensely and never acts on it…and I reciprocated his stares every single time! I mean, you’d think that would be enough?! I was showing him ‘I see you noticing me and I’m noticing you too’ but still, nothing…no approach. You can only stare for so long, eventually something’s gotta come next. And if it doesn’t, its time for me to move on! If anything I feel annoyed now. Like what’s the point of all the intense staring if you’re not going to act on it eventually? Its nice for a girl to know that you were interested enough to approach, that you made that effort to show her, YES I’m that interested in you. If all you’re doing is staring and not acting, well my assumption now is maybe he’s NOT that interested or he has a GF. It doesn’t explain the intense staring, but I don’t have much else to go on. So guys, please listen when I say do your best to approach these crushes of yours…otherwise, we will move on! MAN UP and be brave. You have nothing to lose b/c she’s already not yours anyway!

  • anne // Jul 28, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    Guys, come on. this is sadddd. i find it annoying when a guy/guys who have been making eye contact/ checking me out/ whatever for a while cannot manage to even strike up a conversation. Thats all we really want- but yeah, like someone said before- NOT in the middle of a workout, she will be annoyed and maybe a little embarrassed if she is really sweaty or something. So if you’re a good looking, nice guy, and you’ve been looking at her and you knoww shes been lookin back- go ahead, TALK. About anything. I personally appriciate forwardness, just say hey, i think youre really cute and i see you in here alot- even if youre not the guy of her dreams, girls love the honest flattery. so go for it! good luck!

  • Kurt // Aug 2, 2011 at 5:38 AM

    Anne, you need to realize that it isn’t as easy as you seem to think it is for men to approach women whom they do not already know while at the gym. I have a number of women who frequently stare at me at my gym, but the women often give mixed signals. One girl always stares at me even though I know she is dating some guy who is frequently at the gym with her – she often stares at me while he is standing right there, which seems kind of weird to me. I also get some older women in their 50s who stare at my eyes/face for some reason – I assume that the women who stare at me think I am attractive even if they don’t want to date me.

    Some women are very standoffish when men approach them at the gym even if those women have been obviously checking those men out in the past. I once approached a girl whom I had seen staring at me a number of times in the past, but she wasn’t very friendly and it was weird after that whenever I would see her at the gym – obviously her prior stares meant nothing. Maybe I was too nervous and it showed?

    However, I have become more comfortable approaching women now. Guys don’t need to ask a woman out the first time they talk to them at the gym, but if the girl is super friendly the next time a guy sees her at the gym after an initial conversation, that is a great sign that the girl really is interested.

  • E // Aug 8, 2011 at 3:28 AM

    So I’m in the same situation…I’ve been going to a new gym for about 6 to 7 months and after a couple of months I noticed this one woman who was definately different. It’s not just a physical attraction. All the women that go to this gym are all done up and this woman always works out in the same type of clothing with a ball cap.I’ve watched her from a distance and she is knowledgeable with her workouts and seems to have the same mentality about fitness that I do. I normally see her 2 times a week, 3 if I’m lucky in the afternoon after work. We’ve shared glances so I know she’s noticed me the only thing holding me back is a set of possible red flags. 1 she always wears a hat. 2 she almost always works out with the same guy. 3 she’s very social and always has men approaching and talking to her. 4 she’s always really into her workouts and I don’t want to bother her between sets and hold her up. 5 our workouts rarely bring us to the same area of the gym (she does alot of crossfit workouts). It’s weird because the gym has always been my only real safespot for making friends with women and getting dates but for some reason this one’s different. I really don’t know what to do with this one.

  • Melissa // Aug 8, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    Hi E – I don’t get the hat part, so she wears a hat…how is that a red flag? I think the fact that she’s very social would help you, she’s obviously friendly. That’s a good sign. Less chance of her being standoffish if you approach her! If you’re rarely in the same area in the gym (this was the case with me and someone I was interested in at the gym) then you need to make opportunities happen by trying your best to situate yourself in the same area from time to time, switch up your routine if you have to. I personally wouldn’t feel bothered if someone approached me at the gym, unless I was in the middle of running or something really intense. then it might be a bit awkward. But most women like being approached. Its a compliment. You need to do it more with a ‘friends’ approach, just look at it like you’re getting to know someone new and nothing more…a gym friend. Its less pressure, when you become too invested in the “what if’s” then it becomes intense pressure b/c you over analyze. If you weren’t attracted or invested in any way, you wouldn’t care…you’d just approach her without a 2nd thought. So try not to over analyze. Good luck!

  • E // Aug 9, 2011 at 3:29 AM

    Thanks for the suggestions Melissa. I appreciate the perspective of a woman.

  • Someone // Aug 14, 2011 at 3:27 AM

    how about you do one for Girls on Guys??? Please and thank you

  • Random // Dec 17, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    Yes, it’s nice to get looks from girls. Yes, it would be nice if girls would come up to you and start a conversation (and if you seem confident and outgoing that will definitely happen). Are we all really going to let other people determine our happiness? This article made me realize that you don’t need any kind of steps in order to get a chick at the gym, all you need is to focus on YOU at the gym. Every once in a while just look up at a girl and smile as you tear that shit up again. On your way out make friends with anybody.

    If you really want that “specific” girl then go and be honest. Just say hi, I noticed you were looking at me ..blah blah blah if she doesn’t reciprocate. So what? Go back to working out like a champ. It’s not like you came to the gym, got all dressed down and drank your pre-workout shake so you could pick up a chick. Hopefully…

  • Steve // Dec 24, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    Really helpful advice so far! I get the introduction portion, the first few sentences you’re supposed to say. My fear comes from having a conversation with a complete stranger, you can’t just be searching for a tv show, movie or book you’ve both maybe enjoyed. I only imagine that conversation being quite awkward. I suppose its like any other conversation, intro, body, when you begin losing things to say, part ways. Just, with this girl you would want to wrap it up by getting a phone number.

    -hasn’t been on many first dates

  • Mikey // Dec 28, 2011 at 10:23 AM

    Hello friends.

    I’ve a very decent girl in my gym. She looks so cute and ambitious about her work. I look at her eyes when she is jogging on machine. I try to make eye contact but she doesnot respond. As I’m in true love with her because of her character and spirit.
    Please help me, how to make her realise that I really love her from my bottom of my heart.

  • Gym // Dec 31, 2011 at 6:43 AM

    Hello everyone,

    This is an interesting thread. What I find quite frustrating, however, is the signals some women give off. Often I find a girl looking at me in the gym and even giving off flirty moves, only to find out after a few minutes they’re at the gym with their boyfriend/husband etc. I can understand (to an extent) why they might be looking, but to appear as if you’re interested and flirting when you’re already with someone!?

    On top of this, I get girls who are looking at me and when I decide to reciprocate by making eye contact with them, they immediately turn away and try to pretend they’re busy with something else and that they weren’t looking. The problem with this is that it’s actually very obvious when someone is looking at you, and so it comes off as quite silly and a bit annoying when they pretend they weren’t looking. One person even said “Hi” to me once and when I turned to look at her, she quickly avoided eye contact. So I didn’t reply. She might have felt a bit embarrassed and thought I wasn’t interested, but what am I supposed to do…. say hello to someone who won’t even look me in the eye? The truth is I actually found her quite attractive.

    When you have experiences like this, what is a person supposed to think? I feel that most girls think it’s the man’s duty to initiate a conversation. Please, it’s almost 2012 now. It’s perfectly fine for a girl to approach a guy, and much like when a guy approaches a girl, there doesn’t have to be any set lines or phrases. Just a friendly introduction. Now I’m not sure if girls are getting similar signals from guys like I’ve written above, but the signals can be confusing. Whilst I’m a friendly person, I don’t often go up to girls who I like (even if it’s clear they’re interested). The experiences above make me wonder what’s going through their heads.

  • Jen // Jan 2, 2012 at 5:38 AM

    Gym,

    I have very similar circumstances. I notice guys check me out at the gym quite often, and there are a couple who are very consistent and obvious about it, and one who’s beyond obvious about his staring. He always makes eye contact with me, this has been consistent for months. If he see’s me, he’ll always look directly in my eyes and is very obvious about it. However, he’s never approached me. I seem him there on a couple of occasions with a girl, whether that’s his gf, just a friend, sister…no clue?! But I find it very frustrating that this guy stares this much, and is quite obvious about it, yet he won’t say a word to me! I’ve reciprocated his stares, I don’t look away bc I figure this should show him I see him too, and am interested. But still, nothing. So he must have a gf. I can say as a female, most of us like for the guy to approach us. I’m not speaking for all women, but for me and the women I know. I realize it’s 2012 but sone things don’t change, and thus is one thing we still like guys to do. It’s nice. We enjoy it. So just approach us!

  • Gym // Jan 22, 2012 at 6:07 AM

    Jen,

    It’s possible that the guy who has been staring at you doesn’t have a gf. From the sounds of it, he appears to be interested but it’s also possible that he’s frustrated at the situation as well. For different people, people use different ways to show that they’re interested. He might be able to show his interest by making eye contact with you, but it’s also possible that he’s uncomfortable with the next step ie. approaching you and talking to you. So it might be that he wants to speak to you, but that’s just the part he finds difficult…. and so his only option is to keep staring at you.

    Here’s a few suggestions.

    Next time he’s looking at you, give him a smile and see if that causes him to do anything differently.

    If he still doesn’t approach you, the next time he’s staring at you, look back at him and then use some body language (eg. open eyes wider or maybe move your arms) that gives him the message…”it’s ok , i’m giving you the green light to go ahead and approach me”. Maybe that’ll give him the confidence or the needed reaction for him to approach you.

    Let me know how it goes!

  • Jen // Jan 24, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    Thanks Gym! I appreciate the suggestions. But I’m still confused by all this. I mean, if a guy is actually interested…which you say it sounds like he is (I mean, I don’t think any guy stares as much as he does unless there’s at the very least an attraction there) however, I think if any guy is THAT interested, he’d make it happen. Yea, I can smile at him…but he can smile at me, and he hasn’t! He just stares. He’s been staring at me for months, but no smile. This is where guys go wrong! If you’re attracted, and staring that much, then hell just smile too. Because I don’t know if you’re attracted to me or just weird?! I get guys need encouragement but if I’m giving you EXACTLY what you’re giving me and reciprocating your stares, but that’s still not enough for you to approach me, then why should I have to encourage you?! You’re not encouraging me with a smile! It goes both ways, and THIS is why nothing ends up happening. It all boils down to fear of rejection, really.

  • Diesel // Jan 29, 2012 at 1:25 AM

    I’ve worked out in gyms all over the country and it’s amazing what I’ve seen and learned about the games BOTH men and women play in the gym in the art of seduction.

    1. Just because a woman avoids eye contact with you does not necessarily mean she has no interest. In fact, I’ve noticed the opposite to be true many times. The key is what to look for when you are NOT looking at her. I’ve had guys tell me how this one girl stares at me all the time but yet, she avoids eye contact completely when I look at her.

    2. There are some woman that will never approach you and start a conversation, even if they’re very interested. It just won’t happen. Grow a pair guys, be a man, and say hello. Introduce yourself, compliment her in a respectful manner, and then start to walk away. Women love a man with that kind of confidence.

    3. In all the years I’ve been going to the gym I learned there really is only one way to find out if a girl is interested or not, and that’s to talk to her! Women are far smarter than us guys when it comes to reading and giving signals. They truly are experts at this. There are some girls you might think are very interested, but turn out not to be. There are some you might think has no interest but would love to get to know you. Once again, talk to her, it’s the ONLY way to find out her true feelings.

  • bluesfan2713 // Feb 12, 2012 at 4:48 AM

    I’ve had that same problem several others have mentioned above. There have been several times when a girl has made eye contact with me multiple times during a workout or over the course of time. I remember this one instance when this cute blonde was working out on a treadmill diagonal from me, and then out of nowhere she switched to a treadmill directly in front of me in my eyesight. That wasn’t all when she got done with that I had been on an elliptical behind her and there was only one elliptical open to my right and about 6 or 7 ellipticals open to my left and she got on the one to my right. What’s up with that? I wasn’t sure if I should talk to her or not. Also is it possible for girls to distinguish different looks from guys? By that I mean I don’t go to the gym just to oggle over girls but if a pretty girl crosses my path I might notice and look for a second. I just don’t wanna come off as a creeper if I glance I don’t want her to think that I’m undressing her with my eyes I wiwish there was a way for her to tell that I just think she’s attractive that’s all. Any suggestions??

  • Chelsie // Feb 22, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    Jen, ive had the exact same thing happen to me.. I had a guy at the gym that stared at me all the time but didnt smile or show no emotions while makin eye contact so finally I got the courage to talk one day while he was next to me on a machine.i said “don’t. I know u from somewhere besides here u look really familiar” that sparked a convo and led to me finding out he has a girlfriend.but at least i know now.give that a reason to spark a convo because guys as do us girls do get nervous and no courage so might as well find out for ur self

  • Jasmin // Mar 9, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    @Jen,
    Your story gave me chills reading it.lol.i had the Same story as with me. he finally talked to me and now were actually dating. Crazy right? And i couldnt be more happy. hes just bein scared and i guarentee by the sounds of it hes some what interested. Give it a try and let me know how it goes

  • mike // Apr 23, 2012 at 9:05 PM

    well, this is actually a useful post, better than all that vague and general stuff out there. i used to think it was impossible to pick up girls at the gym, but there was a women hovering around me near the cool down matts, she asked me if i was using the step and I said ‘no’. was wondering if this was a ‘come on’?

  • Jen // Apr 23, 2012 at 10:56 PM

    Mike,
    She might be interested, maybe that was all she could think of to strike up a convo with you. Or maybe she just wanted the step. You would need to pay attention on-going, ie. Does she continue to hover? Do you see her often within your vicinity at the gym? She looking in your direction? Then she’s likely interested. In which case, if you’re interested, you should try to strike something up in return. I wish guys would just approach us more! It would make life much easier :)
    Jen

  • Ben // May 1, 2012 at 10:35 PM

    I’m in a sticky situation. There’s a really cute fit girl who goes to the gym in the mornings during the week. She seems pretty dedicated to her set routine as am I, so it makes things a little difficult in approaching.

    The other week I’m on my way to do some crunches in a corner and I see her looking at my while she’s doing some kind of machine. Being a shy guy I look down but look back up immediately and she’s still staring and we maintain eye contact for about two seconds. I should’ve said Hi or smiled as I walked past but I didn’t.

    The caveat here is the last time I saw her we were working on adjacent machines but she was wearing headphones. I’m not going to be one of those guys who taps the girl on the shoulder and says “Excujjje me.” I’m in a rock and a hard place.

  • Jen // May 2, 2012 at 4:07 AM

    Ben,
    I totally get it, everyone says “you should have said hi” or “you should have smiled” but not so easy when you’re in the moment and don’t want to come
    across like some weird stalker! But I will say, staring (eye contact) is a good sign, consistent eye contact but it obviously can’t just be 2 people staring at eachother forever. So if you’re curious, you’ll need to give her something to work with…a smile the next time you lock eyes, just friendly like you would a neighbor. Believe me, if more people smiled or said “hi” this blog wouldn’t exist! All the not knowing is so frustrating! Someone’s gotta man up eventually :)

  • Ben // May 2, 2012 at 8:10 AM

    Heh, yeah, I hear you. We sort of crossed paths today, I looked at her ready to smile but she didn’t look at me, she almost looked to the ground and smiled (I think). Had we walked past each other, I would’ve said hi.

    Wish she would throw me a bone and not wear headphones next time! Headphones=a big stay the hell away from me sign. Who knows, maybe she’s wearing headphones because she’s with someone and doesn’t want to be bothered but doesn’t mind staring at eye candy ( aka me ;)).

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